Bandicam 2014-07-05 17-08-23-548


Descartes is a Pig who appeared in the Village arc of the series. He bumped into Fart Garfunkel, who was getting wood. Fart was about to kill him for food, but noticed the pig being cute and couldn't resist it. He spared Descartes, quickly befriended him, named him, and made him his steed. Like any other pig, he cannot actually speak, and only grunts and noses up behind players. He died, however, shortly, during the fight to protect the village.

Appearance and Personality

Descartes looks like an ordinary pig. 


Descartes, though for a pig, who don't have abilities, is very quick. 

He drops raw porkchops when slain, like any other pig.


When Lord Server created the server the series takes place, Descartes was born.

One day, he bumped into Fart, who was gathering wood. Fart was about to kill him for food, but Descartes managed to prevent this with his googly eyes, which Fart fell for. Fart spared the pig, quickly befriended him, named him, tamed him, and made him to be his steed.

Fart soon met N00bly, who was mining near a cave, and introduced Descartes, along with the origins of the name, with N00bly confused. Descartes showed affection to his master by licking him. However, the three were soon ambushed by mobs from a cave. He took his master away from the ambush when N00bly declared a retreat due to the fight being pointless.

He soon arrived at the village, with his master and N00bly, and was soon introduced by Fart to Snake, with Snake being suprised Fart is riding a pig. Fart also explained his name to Snake, who was also just as confused as N00bly.

Fart participated on the construction of the wall, riding on Descartes. Soon, night came, and the mobs began their attack...

When the mob charged their entire force to the village, the trio fired a barrage of arrows back at the horde, with Fart doing it on Descartes. When the mob got too close, Fart declared it was time to execute "Attack Pattern Delta", and charged through the enemy ranks on Descartes, with N00bly doing same.

The two soon saw another rider with his steed, the jockey, seemingly leader of the horde. The four were soon locked in a duel.

But out of nowhere, a creeper appeared and detonated near Fart. The detonation killed Descartes.

Later, after the battle, Fart constructed a grave for his beloved steed and vowed to never eat porkchops again.


  • Descartes is named after the french philosopher, Descartes, who said the famous words "cogito ergo sum" or "I think, therefore I am". It is strange that Fart has such categorical memory and knowledge.
  • Although pigs do not acknowledge their riders, Descartes responds positively to Fart's commands while ridden, which is not ever encountered in a non-modified Minecraft game. however, Descartes' behavious must be given artistic licence, for the sake of the show.
  • Fart's affection for Descartes is unusual, as he has killed pigs without qualms before, however, Fart did appear to be slightly shaken and "awake" after his sighting of the End Poem, which might mean that he has discovered new insight into the game, reasoning his newfound affection. However, his affection for Descartes still does not rival that of his shades, which he is shown to more regret losing than Descartes.
  • Descartes appears to like Fart back, nuzzling him in Episode 9: The Village People. This is immediately after Fart explains the origins of Descartes' name, and is presumably for comic effect.
  • Descartes is extremely fast, moving at what appears to be sprinting speed when Fart rides back into the village after retreating from the mobs at the cave entrance.
  • The message of Descartes' tombstone says "That'll do, pig, that'll do.", a reference to the film "Babe".